Cade Is Like No Other...

My children are as different as can be:  God wants parents to celebrate and rejoice in their differences and not to suppress them. Even if that were NOT my way of thinking....these three would have whipped me into their individuality pronto! 

This kid was born on June 26, 1991.  It was Wednesday and he arrived at 9:28 pm.  It was rough! I mean like 30+ hours of labor rough, but then almost every day since then has been that way, good and bad.  He is the kid who, even today, texts and says "can I call?" I want to throw my phone down and start stomping on it no matter the cost of a new one.  But he is growing up and finding his way and it is beautiful to see with your firstborn.  It gives you hope you did not screw them up beyond repair. 

His name is Cade Joshua Gregg.  He is a ginger, a creator, and inspiration, an athlete, a fighter, a musician, and a unique human being.  He is ALL RIGHT BRAIN. He is artistic & imaginative, which means he cannot find his keys, keep up his appearance, has no sense of fashion or direction, and ruins every nice thing I get him. It is infuriating! And with all those wonderful characteristics he has to be the center of attention as well. He never left the house without looking perfect when I was in control, that red hair was like a beacon to women everywhere we went.  And as they got closer, BAM!  The blue eyes hit them and they would not leave him alone.  For an attention seeker that was heaven to Cade!  He loved it because it was center stage.

Yes he has on shorts and hiking boots.

There is not an instrument he cannot play.  
Confidence is King with this one!

Things have not changed as you can see. But with the difficulties of raising a child like this ginger of mine, also came fun.  A LOT OF FUN! 

1.  He would get his siblings together to put on shows for me and they were wonderfully creative and fun!  But it made him an "actor" later in his life. He could lie with the best.
   
   
2. He always had a band and that is why we built a basement.  First it was Myriad Intentions, then The Beat Rawkers, The Southside Kings, Through November, and currently I think it is "Danger, Will Robinson".  But who knows?  I am certain I have missed a few. Cade is a brilliant artist and I am thankful never "made it".  It would have killed him.  Everything he does, he does with an almost addictive attitude.  100%+
3. There have been band practices galore in the basement, walls scratched by instruments being brought up and down and some of the weirdest people I have ever seen coming through our doors.  Nice but weird, and I adored them all.
4.  We have had holes in our walls, tears in our carpet, bean bags blown to smithereens from stage dives, (yes we have a stage in our basement) I have found boogers on walls, pee in bottles, and had many questions where I have asked, "what is this?"  HE INFURIATES ME 99% of the time.  But oh how wonderful is the other 1%!
5.  I know I am not alone, boys are a challenge.  But when you decide to go into the pit and clean your son's room yourself, because you cannot take waiting for him, and find a live mouse at the end of your vacuum hose you have reached a turning point.  
6. But fighting a right brain is a losing battle, it just is.  I am OCD, clean to the max, everything has a place and every place has a reason.  I don't look for things because I know where they are.  I plan meals a month in advance.  I know not just what my day looks like but my month.  It is a curse!  I would have been a better mom to Cade had I a little use of my right brain. To say we butted heads is an understatement. 
7. Time will change boys a little.  I see it every day.  Cade graduated early and was already a Sophomore in college by the time his classmates graduated.  He pushed every limit.  He is why we have a home alarm, dogs to bark, family map on our iPhones, and why God gave me a double dose of mother's intuition.  I wore it out with him and his shenanigans. There were times I thought I would die before he was 18.
8. He has been kicked out of college, wrecked cars and trucks, made horrible choices in his life and with me kicking and screaming and praying all along the way.  He has lived in his car, slept on friends couches and so on...
9. But every bad decision had a consequence from us.  He lived most of his life at age 15 without a door to his room because he could not be trusted in private.  He has been kicked out and sometimes kicked. We have cried many a tear over this kid, wore out knees praying, we have been to emergency rooms and counselors; and felt like we had utterly failed on so many levels for him that there was no hope. ZERO.
10. However, hope arrived little by little. Time and tough love changed a little of the rough edges. I see more of that kid who made me laugh and picked up his toys after making the most giant mess you have ever seen.  I see more of the young man that God created him to be when I hear about his grades at his university.  He was always brilliant and knew what he wanted; he just discovered it all too early and got lost. 
11. He pays for his own school now, pays his own bills, works hard, makes great grades and is way kinder than I have known in years. He is becoming the man I prayed for. 
12. Is there a ways to go?  SURE.  Does he have it all together?  NOPE.  But who of us does?  NOT ME.  I am so thankful in all of the rough times, he has kept his creativity, his genius, his musical mind, and thoughtful heart.  He still makes me crazy, but it keeps me on my toes.  And I love him more than he can ever know.  He is one of a kind this kid...do yourself a favor and watch some of the YouTube videos below of how great he is/or thinks he is!  ha
    
    
    https://youtu.be/cERF40krcfQ
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2FT9U94MYY
    And my favorite....
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMyGevkAm0s 
    
    

    Isaiah 40:1

    Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

My Heart Outside My Body

These three are my heart.  They don't look like this anymore, they are 25, 23 and 21 now.  But my love for them only grows. Every mom knows when you have a child, you have part of yourself walking around this big, ugly world, and it is scary.  But God continually showed me grace when I messed up parenting these guys.  The reality is this:  no matter what you do, how hard you pray, or with as much love as you give, they are going to do what they want!  Good or bad, harmful or helpful, smart or just plain ignorant. 

Parenting is not a spectator sport. We don't look at a schedule to see what time the game is and clothe ourselves in the proper colors of our team then put on sunscreen to watch.  The only schedule for parenting is 24/7/365, and our attire is peanut butter, spit up, poop, and coffee stains, and the only protection we have is not SPF Sport 30 but Jesus Christ. Try and do it alone and you will find far more reality than grace!

If your child is sick: I Peter 5:7 "Casting all your cares on him because he cares for you".  Having a sick baby, or teen is tough because there is not much you can do but pray and get the proper medicines in them.  But eventually you will be at your wits end so it is good to have the Savior holding the rope!

If your child is being strong-willed today:  Proverbs 3:5–6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."  I always sent the kids to my room because it was boring and had no toys, because no matter how strong willed you are being, little buddy, I am better at it! 

If your family is so busy you don't recall the last time you sat down at the table together: Romans 12:2 says "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”  I don't remember football or baseball games much but I do remember times we laughed at the table together and those memories mean the world to me. Sadly, they were fleeting as the kids got older.

When no one in the house is getting sleep:  Remember that even Christ had to plan for rest Mark 6:31 says, “Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to [His disciples], ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’”  Say "no" to a play date or planned activity every once in a while, let the laundry go or the dishes and plan to just snuggle on the couch. 

When you just are too tired to discipline: Proverbs 13:24 clearly says "He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly."  I am not advocating a belt, or paddle etc, but I am advocating prompt discipline with consistency.  

If your husband is working so much you feel like a single parent; you are not alone.  (Or you may even be a single parent, even YOU are not alone) Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."  My husband was in school until he was 32 and he was gone most of the year for training.  Sometimes he was away as much as 20 weeks in a single year.  It was awful but we made it through with much prayer.  Neither of our families lived closer than 6 hours away so free babysitting or small breaks were not an option for me.   I had to tough it out with Jesus which made it easier.

When you have fun plans and the kids literally ruin them with their attitudes: James 4:13-15 says "Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit'— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”  In other words, it doesn't matter, tomorrow is a new day. 

I guess what I want you to know is this:  God knows your troubles momma, he knows your heart and he is giving you grace upon grace.  You will yell and you will scream, you will cry and you will ache; but your Heavenly Father is right there with you.  He created you for a purpose and he is in control. HE IS IN CONTROL, NOT YOU.  Joshua 1:9 says "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” 

We have been through everything from scraped knees, broken hearts, wins and losses on a field, birthday parties, drivers ed, wrecks, sicknesses, ballet and music lessons, high school, college, broken bones and even rehab but God was in control.  We were too tired and worn to take control and because we let Him, sometimes too late, this is where we are today...

My heart still is walking around outside my body in three different directions, but God is holding it in his beautiful hands and that, my friends, is grace AND reality. 💗

 

Grace and Weakness

Life is ridiculously hard but then God gives us GRACE... 

Grace is more beautiful than any flower picked by my child and given to me with little, chubby hands.  It is more proper than tea with The Queen.  It moves more beautifully and gracefully than a sunset; and grace is effortless for my God.  It pleases Him to hand it to me in all of my awkwardness and ugliness, and for free no less!  His unending grace is given without judgement but with favor and love.  There is no limit, no expiration date, and no gimmicks. No matter what I have, what I get, his grace will always be all I truly need...

Grace is how a ridiculously hard life is tolerated.  Is my life horrible? No.  Do I live in the 1% of the richest people of the world? Yes I do and for that, much is required of me. 

It is a little embarrassing to admit I let life get to me; but boy do I!  At the end of a day I sometimes set in quiet reflection at how ridiculously I handled my day.  And so I pray.  And God, once again, hands me grace. I smile, thank Him, and ask for forgiveness.  I pray for my husband and children and try to do better for all of us the following day.   

2 Corinthians 12:9  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. I can never reach the standard, but it is alright.

 This is a prayer I placed in the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem years ago.  I am so blessed that I can pray this simply prayer every morning from my dining room table and God hears me just as clearly as when I was holding that paper in His City. 

   
Romans 11:6 says "But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace."