Everyone says, "learn to say no." I even say it to younger women and I absolutely mean it! However, it is only part of the advise I need to be giving; and for that I am sorry. If you are a woman you know what tired means. If you are a mom you know what depleted means. Let's face it, most of America is tired. But tired means you can still reach deep within and give a little more. Depleted means you have absolutely NOTHING left. Except maybe tears.
Please understand I am not bragging, I am actually showing you what an idiot I have been for three decades. I have a husband and three children. We have owned pets from the tarantula, to the rabbit, to the fish to the dog and cat. We have taken lessons in piano, guitar, drum, tap, jazz, ballet, gymnastics, golf, swim lessons and voice. For years our garage looked like a sporting good store from from soccer balls, footballs, golf clubs, hockey sticks, basketballs, footballs, track shoes, baseballs and gloves, and tennis rackets. All these were mixed in with bicycles, toys, and other miscellaneous items only I knew how to put away.
I have volunteered at homeless shelters, clinics for unwed mothers, food banks, no kill shelters, neighborhood associations and schools. I have raised money for children's hospitals, women trapped in sex slavery, The Ronald McDonald House, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, mission trips, PTA's, ballet schools, and special needs adults.
I have been on the board of directors or advisory boards of more organizations than I can count. I have taught Sunday School, worked in the youth department, taught children's choir, VBS, Awanas, been on building committees, coached teams, and been a room mother about 12 times. I was always up for helping with a wedding or an auction or fund raiser etc. But you know what? I am depleted....plain and simple. I'm done. As a matter of fact if God wants me now, to fill a small quiet space, I am good with that.
(as long as it glorifies Him)
(as long as it glorifies Him)
People tell you it is alright to say "no". But it feels awful to say "no". You realize when someone is asking you to do something: they have thought about it, wondered who could get the job done, and your name popped into their head. It feels good to be needed, right? So, you say yes without prayer, contemplation, or consultation with your family. Having someone hear you say the words "yes" and seeing the joy on their face coupled with their sigh of relief makes you feel good. Makes you feel needed, trusted and counted on.
But just for a moment...
Then you realize the gap you have to fill between your "yes" and the completion of the request. And all because you could not say that one word you say 1 millions times a day to your children and a few nights a week to your husband..."NO". You can say it to the kids but you can't say it to a peer? (I couldn't) I don't know how long it took Steve Jobs, co- founder of Apple, to come up with this knowledge but it is greatness: "it is only by saying 'no' that you can concentrate on the things that are really important." So, just decide what is really important, do those things and say "no" to things that do not bring you closer to God, help your family, or teach your children right? Well, that is partly right. My daughter is a 23 year old young woman with a beautiful career in ministry. She works overseas several months out of the year helping children and lives in Texas the remainder. We recently had a discussion about time and priorities. I reminded her of Matthew 11:28: "come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." If that was true 2000 years ago, with all the pressure and technology we have from the world today, it must be significantly more important now. The devil acquires more and more ways to distract us from God. The world will carefully, and deliberately expect us to accept and act upon those distractions with unrealistic goals. (even if they are for a good cause)
See, in Luke Chapter 10 we are given the example of Martha and Mary. I am sure you have heard Martha was working and Mary was not helping her; but instead she was setting at the feet of Jesus. "Choosing the good portion" as Jesus described when Martha complained to him. Mary said "no" to Martha whether verbally or non-verbally and she received a reward. A reward for saying "NO"! This is where I have failed myself, and have taught other young Christian women to fail also. See, there is a sequel to saying "no".
How do I know this? Well, I am in the midst of learning it myself! Saying "no" frees up your time. But what do you do with that time? Do you fill it with yet another lesson, ball game, Netflix binge, or useless book? "No" should go hand in hand with being still.
Just because you CAN do all things through Christ who give you strength does not mean you should! Go and find a lonely, beautiful place, and be still there! No phone, computer, no headphones, book, chores or television. God promises to be there with you. (Joshua 1:5) Not only will He meet you there but He will bring peace that passes all understanding. (Philippians 4:7) And the more quiet you become, the louder His voice will be to you. (Revelation 3:20)
And the louder His voice becomes to you the more strength you receive! (Isaiah 41:10) Strength to go and make all those "YES"es big and beautiful.
So, don't just say "no", also BE STILL AND "KNOW".
